Way weird that no one knows about this and thus no one is reading this... but, it is out there.

I just finished reading Beautiful Boy by David Sheff. It's a memoir about dealing with his sons addiction to meth. Its very well written and the first memoir I've read in awhile. Extremely compelling. His son wrote his account of his addiction although I don't know if I'm ready for that just yet. 

I got done with my psych ER elective and thus it is time for 8 weeks of surgery. I am dreading it by a lot which may not be a great attitude to go into it with. I just hope that I luck out and the residents I work with are nice, because under that situation I tend to work hard and be okay with things. 

On Friday in the ER were a lot of people my age or so. I was talking to this one guy and it came up that he almost wishes that he joined a gang, to fit in. It was just such an honest thing to say and it conveyed a deeper message than that and it's remarkable how in a certain setting, you can have these raw conversations with people that you've known for literally 3 minutes. And, mostly, I guess I've been going through the white-girl version of that lately.

I'm on my two week elective which is ER Psychiatry in Newark. Way intense! It is definitely what I should and will be doing with my life (maybe not ER in newark though...). It's definitely very emotionally draining for me, much muchhh more than I anticipated actually, but I suppose I'll take that to be a good sign. One thing I'm not actually burnt out on! 

I have been laying low on the art and movies front, though I did see Somers' Town last night. It was a tale of two outcasted 16 year old boys in England, one who ran away from his home and one who just moved from Poland after his parents got divorced. The english one is pretty badass while mr. poland boy is just a solid good kid so that struggle emerges. It felt very effortlessly done, which I absolutely love in movies. Like not a strict beginning, middle, end, and not throwing things in there to deliberately make it sad or funny or whatnot, though it did end rather neatly. Also, the struggles with their friendships reminded me of struggles I've had with friends, where you both just want very different things from each other yet you have to make it work. It was very subtly done. It was also mostly done in black and white, with a tiny bit of footage in scratchy color, adding to the quaint feeling. 

http://www.filmforum.org/films/somers.html

I also saw Bruno, which I guess got a lot of flack from the gay community and I understand and respect why (and parts of it were definitely iffy in terms of that), however I thought it was more witty and hilarious and helpful to the gay community. My hope is that post-Borat, it will reach a wider audience than it normally would have and just that will be helpful. That and I just absolutely love really smart and innovative people and I am just impressed from that point of view. 

I watched about a minute of the fireworks, got bored, and went inside. And also, fireworks and particularly the 4th tend to make me a bit nostalgic and thus I get grumpy. 

We have to do these awful patient logs for each time you go near a patient. I brilliantly saved a month's worth up and it is awful going through them. On the plus side, I procrastinated this by cleaning a lot and the apartment is looking spiffy! I also went to ikea today and rearranged and finally put up this print I bought a few months ago. It's by a new artist by the name of Jason Gluskin and I have 1/10 of it so it looks impressive even though I think I only spent $35 on it. It's small though, 10"X10". 

I also put up two of my sketches from Drink N Draw. It's pretty self-explanatory, but essentially for $10 they have a model and PBR and you go to town. It's on wednesday nights (and in Brooklyn) so I haven't gone in awhile though, sadly. 

I had a really nice last few days. I am the type of person to sulk and sulk, but when things are going well, I am so incredibly thankful for every tiny moment of it. On friday I went to the newly opened beer garden with my roommate and school friends and friends of school friends and then went back to a friends apartment for hookah. And a cigarette. I rarely smoke (5 cigs a year?), but when I do, I absolutely love and savor it. I am glad they live so closeby! 

Yesterday I went shopping and bought the best dress ever amongst other things and then went out for Joanna's birthday. The fellas were being nice to me, which is always a nice surprise. I have near zero confidence so it always majorly throws me off when they are actually sincere. We napped at Joanna's for a little and then got back to jersey city as the sun was rising, which I love.