mmm vacation, cont.

YES. 

I saw Breaking Upwards yesterday and it was utterly brilliant. I possibly say that about everything I watch, but this was EXTRA utterly brilliant. MEGA. So good. It was hilarious, and not in the typical "wow I have a really sick sense of humor because no one else seems to be laughing when things are going horribly".  (But you gotta be able to laugh when everything is awful! maybe?). 

TRAILER!

Anyways, this couple decided to test the idea of breaking up by having "on days" where they were together, and "off days", when they were not. It was actually loosely based off the actors/writers real life experiment with using on and off days. But, loosely from what I gather. The character development and acting was phenomenal, with every little moment of time in this film being put to good use. The lady's mother was a hottie single NY pot-smoking hilarity, the fella's mom was an anxiety crazylady (and hilarious). It was more comedy then drama, which is exactly how I like it. My favorite line was "how did you know that?" "because I'm educated.....". Hehe, yes. 

There were a few things I would have edited out though, but perhaps that is me just being a control-freak. 

UM. I also bought a lot of things at Urban Outfitters & Anthro the past few days. Yikes. But they are cute things so its okay! Including a..... dun dun dun.... bathing suit. This happens very rarely. I have a photo of me in it actually, but we won't be doing that on the internet. I also got THREE DRESSES. Fuck. Um. And four pairs of earrings. That I won't lose this time...?

Yeah Yeah Yeahs- Down Boy  is lovely.

I finally finished a million exams. Or three big ones. I am rather elated. Though also a bit sad at how awful I have been at handling stress lately. I think its largely because my usual strategies are just too far gone that late in the year. My non-school friends have largely moved away, I haven't taken an art class since the winter, etc.

On friday a bunch of classmates and I drank. Like fish. We all smiled a lot.

Saturday was a lot of "oh, wow, so this is what it feels like to have a brain tumor". And, long walk in manhattan, indie film, and vicky-fest. We ate waffles, and pizza, and went to target. And napped.

Indie film was Daddy Longlegs, it was quite great. I can't fucking write reviews. Basically, the main actor was the director of Frownland, which was what completely started my love of gritty weird 35mm indie films, so for that purpose alone it was something I had to see. And I just love COMPLEX movies. Where some fucking TIME was put into developing the characters. So Daddy Longlegs didn't disappoint. It was a tale of a divorced "unconventional" father getting his kids for two weeks, and he LOVES those kids to bits and pieces but is also kind of a terrible father in certain regards, but so so perfect in other regards. I mean, perfect. Yet, terrible. He'll do anything to make them happy and discipline them when appropriate and just generally does things for their best interest 90% of the time. But when he fucks up, he fucksssss up.

Okay I am bored.

Today we hiked and played with baby sheep. Yes. And alpacas.

Less Than Jake, The Rest of My Life  is pretty great.

I have done almost 2000 practice questions for this awful exam. When I look at it like that, maybe THATS why I have been totally unable to focus lately.
Friday marks the end of this (oh-so-miserable) academic year (followed by a 2 week summer break).


When I am done with this crap, I shall be doing things like 
+ Reading Unhooked.
+ Finishing (restarting?) Lolita.
+ Aruba
+ Drinking, to excess. Its been I think forever. We will start with champagne.
+ Running, I guessssssssss. The drinking takes priority though.
+ Avoiding hospitals, for as long as possible, hopefully successfully.
+ Sleeping. Though I am no stranger to that lately.
+ OH! Interacting with people. YES.

two.more.days.

Isolation Experiment

Is a fail.

I thought I would study better at my parents house while they are gone, because it is quieter, and people are more settled, and there is absolutely nothing else to do, but really, not so much is getting learned. Because the internet still exists. (And because I don't care). Oh wellllllll.

http://www.brooklynvegan.com/archives/2010/05/small_brown_bik_2.html

So this thing got quoted, which is terrifying as shit. Maybe some people would be happy about that, but not I. It's not meant to. But it DID get me thinking about the purpose of this. Maybe it's time to actually put half an ounce of effort in, especially now that school will essentially be a complete joke starting 3 days from now. I mean, I CAN write, when I don't just try to get it out as quickly as I can, press the magic button, and expel it from my memory. (To make room for boring things). And originally, this WAS meant to have an element of "wow I am not totally and utterly embarassed by it".

Though that would also entail me whining less (and NOT writing about awkward things?). How hard can that be? And probably writing less, or having photos as a means of the illusion of that I can actually shut the fuck up, for a moment.

Yes, it seems not plausible.

But, maybe the quick-lets-get-it-out things can be made private? I just hate internet comments, really.

In other news, I am totally eyeing Script Analysis. Too bad I absolutely do not have $700. And should probably stop plotting ways to make it possible.

Vacation or study-fest?

I am treating it as a weird combination of the two.

I have three exams this week and a mini study period extending from today through wednesday. But, lets backtrack.

On friday I saw small brown bike in NY at the Cake Shop in the Lower East Side. I don't know why, but I was going into it a bit upset, a bit stressed out, a bit not ideal. (I think it started bc I wasn't sure I was going to make it but I got out of the hospital in time). I decided to walk there from the PATH train (1.4 miles apparently) in order to just calm down a little. I passed the old CBGB's site on the way, which is now a clothing store. It was like a punch to the jaw. Like a fuck this, I am moving out of this area, it's too commercial, too fake, too superficial.

Fine. I walk to the Cake Shop. The entry level is a vegan bakery and bar, the downstairs is the music. The 2nd of 4 bands was on and they were SO GOOD. Like, blown away. They are called Your Skull My Closet. I knew about 5 minutes in that this would be a special show. Then Bridge and Tunnel came on and were also insanely amazing. THEN small brown bike come on and was perfect. One of the best shows ever. They haven't playing in NY in 7 years and the show was sold out and it was a small venue so everyone was packed and excited and so nice. It was also a TRILLION degrees in there and we all just bonded over it. PLUS the sound system was phenomenal, something I've come to appreciate a bit more with age. Really wonderful show, one of the best I've ever been to.

My thing against NY is that it always seems like everyone is leading these perfect carefree lives. Everyone is rich and skinny and successful and has loads of free time and friends and relationships. Not that this is the definition of carefree, but, for some reason it's easier to pick up on those things and just get a bit scuffed by it all. So on the way back, it was weird! Girls crying, couples fighting, guys being skeevy. Like, just a 'oh, these people also have struggles'. It made me reconsider my fervent desire to leave NY as well.

Then, Saturday I went to a good friends bridal shower, which was so much fun. I ate a lot of fruit and girl chatted a bit and all that. As jaded as I am, I LOVE good happy relationships that progress and that bring out the best in the couple. I love the sense of calm in my friends face.

There was cake and cookies and cheese all over the place and I behaved like a normal person. I stuck with the fruit and tomatoes moreso, but still indulged, and stopped when I was no longer hungry. It's all of these little things that I just don't take for granted, I guess.

Then I studied...

Sunday, studied.some.more, then went to the gym and did 4 miles in under 40. YES. I have been a bit erratic with the running (but kept up the 4/wk thing!) so this was a nice surprise. I played a fun game of alternating the speeds a lot (I was on the treadmill). At first every half a mile, up until mile 2.5, where it was up 0.1 mph for every 0.1 miles, until I hit under a 9 minute mile, then it was back down slowly, until I got to a 10min mile and just finished with that. It was a ton of fun!

THEN I went to see small brown bike in DC. Yes. I am trying to fail out of school, I think. But moreso, I maybe have five things I regret in my life, and one of them is related to putting school above concerts. So, yeah. They were good and it was a calmer show and I had friends with me, which was super nice, but it was no epic NY show.

FINALLY, we are almost done. I am at my parents house in the suburbs while they are in Texas. Why? I have no idea, but I guess I'm morbidly curious as to what it's like to live alone in the suburbs? Or because it's peaceful as shit? [I had an awesome outdoor run!] Or, because I don't want to do deal with the hassle of parking, and noise, and my messy closet? Who knows, but we'll see how long this experiment lasts.

I saw 'everyone else'.

It was totally amazing and brilliant! I love reading movie reviews after the film as well, and ny times wrote a beautiful one.

It's about a young couple (ie mid stages of a relationship) that are having trouble moving forward, but also are in this beautiful relationship with each other. I can't explain! But they love and hate each other. The girl is far more desperate than the guy to feel secure in that he loves her (because he won't fucking say it, ugh) and just impulsively does little things to try to push him a bit. And sometimes he responds, and sometimes he doesn't.

The dialogue and subtly was great, it was artsy and slow in a beautiful way, it didn't have a discernable ending (yayyy), and just wasn't cliche even though it EASILY could have gone that route.

I feel so much better :)

The weather is amazing lately. And I have this weekend OFF.

Last weekend was a j-fest where I hung out with my middle/highschool BUDDY. We did our favorite thing: grab a fancy dinner with a split bottle of wine, go to the puppy store and play with a BITEY puppy, and then go shopping. (And then get a headache by midnight.....)

I bought this jacket in black. Not the best picture quality. I have been eyeing it since November but 140 seemed too much for fake leather, but it was on sale! yay.

I also went to muji and got more notebooks and pens that are my new favorites! And they are refillable, so maybe I wont spend $200 on pens in the next year. If I don't lose them. Which I will.

OKAY.

We have reached the 8 week mark of 4-5 day/wk gym-ness!! Yes.

This week was sucky though...

Sunday: run around the waterfront w a friend. maybe 2-3 miles?

Monday: TIRED.

Tuesday: well, my 6-1opm nap wasnt helpful....

Wednesday: spinning class. i hated it.

Thursday: didn't get home till 8, and, TIRED.

Friday: nap! then a 2 mile treadmill run. slowly.

Saturday (today..): 3+ miles faster awesomer around the waterfront.

So, not great, but considering how busy it was, I think I did well for myself. And I ate a salad everyday (i think)! Mostly because I was too lazy to make lunch and that is more or less the only edible thing in the caf.

I want to see 'everyone else' tomorrow. It's this german movie about a couple growing apart, which sounds rather lame and boring, but it got AMAZING reviews. Like, ridiculous ones. 100% on rotten tomatoes, ny times loves them, and so forth. So, I should just go and watch it.

www.ifccenter.com/films/everyone-else