FOOD.

So, its been a little while, but whatever. I have rediscovered how much I love food. It's always a battle between food and booze, but food has come forth.

UM. Okay.

Sometimes I forget this, but I had this epiphany that I have no money, and I should not only eat out less, but I shouldn't spend so much on convenience food (ie tv dinners) that I can make myself.

So, I made some seitan, which is what that delicious oily vegetarian duck is at thai places. Though mine is an unseasoned version of it and hopefully with some sesame oil and soy sauce and citrusy-ness, it will be edible. Shooting high here.

I also made Veggie Loaf, which will hopefully a) be edible and b) maybe taste like the Amy's version. It looks like it, at least. I need gravy though. Eh. But, that box is $5 on a good day and my recipe supposedly makes 10 servings for way less than $50. WIN. And, it wasn't that hard to make. 

Recent Purchases

Silk Madewell Shirt for Interview Suit:  I love it. It feels wonderful and makes me look like I might be a trustworthy person. (maybe). I like the navy so much better, but my suit is black, so we settled on this.

This is pretty similar to a dress I bought for the preinterview dinners. 




And this IS the dress. Yay. I <3 it.


  

 I didn't see or buy this, but I LOVE it in the picture. 
I guess I need the belt too!

Research Month

Well, it's not a 40 hour a week productive thing as I was secretly hoping it would be (I have this curse of doing tons of research with different people and never getting published. Because I am inherently too lazy to push it to publication. So this was going to be my chance! Except I remain lazy).

But I'm doing okay with it.

Yesterday I went shopping! With my mom (she is a weirdo...). So 97% of it was utter embarrassment as she told the saleslady that my legs were too fat, freaked out about nothing ("you need to wear WHITE SHIRTS to interviews, WHY are you looking at colors?"), and following me around from two feet away (which wouldn't be that bad, except I am an epic zigzagger when I shop). BUT, the other 3% were filled with her buying me over-priced awesomeness (love?) so that was pretty cool.

Apparently Madewell is totally awesome when you ignore the price tag. And utterly replaces Anthro as lust-fest, officially.
The things I bought aren't online yet, sadly... but should be one day?

Interviews!

Are terrifying. Yes. They are.

The good news is that it will entail me getting out.of.here (maybe), which is what I (maybe) superwant.

I went to whole foods today and did my "quick food" spree. Ugh. Frozen meals, bars, etc. I will cherish the day where I just live a stable life with a stable job and the time to cook and go to the gym enough.

Speaking of the gym, I am badddd. I took "a break" and now running a mile is challenging. But, oh well, I can't do anything other than pick myself up. I am considering signing up for the NY Half Marathon, just to give myself a goal. It's in march so not too bad, but also three days after the match, and maybe I will be in a puddle of tears at that time and not really into running a half marathon. Especially considering how on todays mile-venture I told myself that I hate running and any other future-Anna "no you don't" realization is just a lie. Hmm.

OKAY. Well. Interviews are actually really fun. And there is one that I am SO excited about and drool so much over and probably won't get, but maybe there is a 0.05% chance that my life will be awesome one day and that is cool. And, it's in a location that will be super fun to visit. Yes. I am jinxing.

Also, in other real news, I am stressed out as shit and I feel like no one cares, and, that may not be true, but it's making things kind of lonely? Though relationshipy thing is going super.well (a huge huge first for me).... it's not his place to be my rock. Yet. I don't know if that makes sense. Whatever, done... maybe something better one day.

Holy Break

Oops.
Well, I did a Psych ER rotation in an AMAZING west coast hospital, and a Psych Consult-Liason in superbusy INSANE New York hospital in the interum. LOVED West Coast, hated New York hospital. I have psych inpatient (again) at a different New York hospital next.

Regrets: Not doing an elective in something more interesting (addictions, forensics, child/adolescent). Though I did see forensic patients on CL. And addictions cases on ER and CL. But, you know...

I applied to 35 programs. Hahaha oops. But it means I am getting more interviews than annoying-kids-at-school (who applied to a normal amount of programs in a much more competitive field), which makes me feel super cool. Plus, the only reason I know where they get invites at is because they update their facebook with it constantly. Booyah.

Relationship hasn't gotten fucked up yet! Its almost been three months. That's an epic world record for me.

I am kind of sick, in that I'm stuffed up and energy-less. Normally I would be running around and being unfocused but this seems like a much better idea.

Today I made apple pie! Two of them. I am going to Bubby's Pie Social tomorrrow (you bring pies and donate money, those who dont bring pies donate more money, it all goes towards education which I love love love). You know how ridiculously time-consuming it is to core, peel, cut, slice 9 trillion pounds of apples? Very.

YAY

PSYCH AI is wonderful. Minus the part of my team only having six patients and most of them being homeless hostile paranoid schizophrenics. BUT, whatever, I am comfortable enough around them and that is a subset of the psych population that I will always have to deal with.

There is one with a personality disorder (not her main diagnosis, but possibly her main issue) and my goal for next week is to work with her a bit more. How? I have NO clue. I guess I will perhaps attempt to, you know, read something. Like, on Dialectical Behavior Therapy.

So what was this about the wonderful weekend?
RELATIONSHIP for the first time in over THREE YEARS.
Holy crap. This is fun and exciting and I wake up in the morning different. Like, perhaps, there is hope for the future....

I am overwhelmed though; the AI is harder than I thought (10 hour days), the film class requires four more papers in the course of three weeks, and I'm taking STEP 2 CS in a week and two days. (And I am BAD BAD BAD at standardized patient exams).

But, overwhelmed in a great way? By all of the things I love (minus CS)?

Hopefully CS isnt as big of a deal as I am making it out to be?

Mushroom Veggie Burgers & Pulp Fiction

This weekend has been very kind to me. Yes indeed.

I am in the midst of making Mushroom Veggie Burgers (recipe below) and starting on my Pulp Fiction essay. 

The movie was pretty good but I guess it's a bit too late to see how groundbreaking it was. I wasn't blown away because after seeing movies that were influenced by Pulp Fiction (in terms of non-linear structure), it doesn't seem like a huge deal. That and movies are far less fun when they are viewed for a class. A fun class, but still a class.

I am wicked wicked wicked hungry though. These babies are in the oven now & I will eat them & it will be wonderful. 

Also day 1 of my psych acting internship tomorrow! I will pretend I know what I'm doing. I should probably contemplate opening a book.....?  

Chicago Diner Mushroom Burgers
Adapted from Recipezaar and The Non-Dairy Queen

This recipe is Vegan, Nut-Free, Soy-free, and of course Dairy-Free. It is also very low in fat and has a wonderful flavor. The texture ends up firm on the outside, and a bit softer in the middle, much like an Amy's Bistro Burger.

• 1 cup diced roasted red peppers or 3 stalks celery, diced
• 1 cup diced onion
• 1/4 cup soy sauce or tamari
• 2 teaspoons onion powder
• 2 teaspoons garlic powder
• 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
• salt to taste (optional, but a do recommend a wee bit)
• 3 cups quick or rolled oats
• 4 cups diced mushrooms (portobello, cremini, button, or a combination)
• 1/2 cup whole wheat flour

Bring 4 cups water, roasted red peppers or celery, onion, soy sauce, onion powder, garlic powder, pepper, and salt to a boil in a pot over medium heat. Reduce heat to medium and simmer 5 minutes. Stir in the oats, mushrooms, and flour and cook 5 minutes more. Transfer to a bowl and chill.

Preheat oven to 350°F; coat a baking sheet with cooking spray or line it with a silpat. Shape mixture into patties and bake on prepared baking sheet for 15 minutes. Flip and bake 10 more minutes. Cool.

Heat grill to medium-high. place foil on grill and coat with cooking spray. Grill burgers on foil for 7 minutes per side.

Yields 8 burgers